Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Small penises have feelings too.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
