you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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