She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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