That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
