Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
