is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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