every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
