I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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