You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
