sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
