There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
