Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
