It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
