ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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