I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize