Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
