Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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