Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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