what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
