Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
