Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
handjob tips. give me some.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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