Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize