there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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