Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
