What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
