My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
