is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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