Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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