one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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