Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
