my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
