Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
