yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
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new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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