hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
