You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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