My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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