My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
