Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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