if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
