So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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