escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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