As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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