dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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