You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
