Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
