dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.