I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.