i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place