You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
We were destined to go to rehab together
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk