you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
