I got chris browned last night
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
