I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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