I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize