I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
