is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize