According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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