she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
