Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
