So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
